Wild is ostensibly a program designed "to show you how to survive in the wild" by teaching you all sorts of insane fucking survival techniques. Wild and prove to the rest of the world that he was the most hardcore motherfucker to ever punch a rattlesnake in the mouth.
Once he sufficiently proved the size of his enormous nuts to the French dudes, he decided it was time to start up Man Vs. After that he went off and put himself through three months of basic training in the middle of the Sahara Desert for the French Foreign Legion just for fun. Within two years he had miraculously rehabilitated himself to the point where he became the youngest British dude to ever summit Mount Everest. Since the SAS has this crazy policy where they don't employ dudes with broken backs, they let Bear go off into the wild on his own. Bear was so badass though that he ended up knifing the lions to death with a rusty shiv and re-attaching his legs using only a pocketknife and a couple vines tied into perfect sqare knots. He was trained in survival, mountaineering, parachuting and hand-to-hand asskicking by the most hardcore drill sergeants this side of Full Metal Jacket and served actively in a bunch of crazy fucking black ops shit right out of a Chuck Norris movie, until all of a sudden one day his parachute ripped in half while he was plummeting to Earth and he ended up breaking his spine in fifteen places and having his legs eaten by rabid lions. Wild, a show almost completely centered around him parachuting into the harshest climates on the planet, chopping down trees with a butter knife, building homemade flotation devices out of bamboo shoots and shoelaces and then slaughtering two-thirds of the indigenous species of that particular region using only his bare hands and his teeth.īear got his start whomping balls in the British SAS, which is pretty much one of the most badass military units to ever strap on steel-tipped boots and kick terrorists square in the junksack.